Identity theft is not always financial, it can be the theft of pieces of your soul. From the time of conception we are embedded with the agendas, opinions and imprints of family and society. These are controlling factors that develop our personality. We try and find our way out of this web as we grow older but in a time of stress we can get sucked back into an imagined safety net of being controlled by others.
A recent client that came to me described her situation as being strangled. She held her hand to her throat as she explained her story. It was the only way she could describe it. She was being told what to do. She felt she was being pushed, was losing her freedom and someone was taking control of her life very rapidly. She was slipping into a new relationship at a rapid rate and felt she had lost all her boundaries.
In a whirlwind she was swept off her feet, lost her grounding and was grasping to hang on. She had lived on her own for many years, had recently retired and was now helping with her grandchildren. Life was fulfilling but there was still a void and when a man she had known for many years stepped in to fill that void, it was scary. She was allowing herself to be dominated and controlled. She wanted companionship but this was like a runaway train that she didn’t know how to stop.
A similar thing had happened to me in my first marriage. I got sucked into a controlling relationship. It was very costly in many ways but I was young with no experience or tools to work with. That was many years ago and I have come a long way in understanding what happens with the ‘theft of a soul’.
I could feel the anxiety of my client but could not tell her what to do. What I could do, was put back together her scattered energy field and help rebuild her boundaries. I was able to listen to her words and turn her concerns into questions for her to consider. It offered some clarity for her intuitive self to contemplate and give her the answers she needed.
I don’t know what road she will choose but understanding how to honour her soul and personal space gives her more power to protect her authentic self from invasion and theft. Sometimes we may have to look deep for those inner resources - but if we don’t do that, we are not listening to our soul’s needs.
I shared the Dali Lama’s advice is to ‘remember the best relationship is one in which the love for each other exceeds the need for each other’. It is important to recognize the difference and to honour each others space without domination. Knowing and discussing expectations up front is a valuable tool for all of us to consider in whatever path we take.